Intolerance - Sexuality or Religion?

Religion and sexuality have long been complex and sensitive topics in our society. The mere mention of these subjects often evokes a sense of discomfort and unease among individuals, resulting in whispered tones and hushed discussions. However, the very nature of human psychology suggests that the more we are denied access to information or discussion about a particular topic, the greater our curiosity about it becomes.

As an individual, I find myself drawn to the topic of sexuality and continually seek to expand my knowledge and understanding of this fascinating subject. Each new piece of information I encounter only serves to further fuel my curiosity, and I am constantly in search of new insights and perspectives.

Despite the widespread reluctance to discuss these topics openly, it is imperative that we confront the taboo surrounding sexuality and religion in our society. By shedding light on these issues and promoting open and honest dialogue, we can begin to break down the barriers that prevent individuals from fully expressing themselves and exploring their sexuality in a healthy and responsible manner.

It is only through open and honest discourse that we can hope to create a more tolerant and accepting society, where individuals are free to express themselves and explore their sexuality without fear of judgment or ostracism. As such, it is crucial that we continue to engage in meaningful conversations about sexuality and religion, and work towards promoting a more inclusive and accepting society for all individuals.

Religion continues to be an integral aspect of society's moral foundation, as it not only instills virtue but also motivates ethical behavior. Therefore, religion plays a crucial role in society and merits special consideration. In essence, religion is a fundamental institution in every society, and it is a universal system that is present in all cultures worldwide. India is a country of diverse religions, with all major religions of the world represented. Religion brings solidarity, ethical values, and social controls to a society.

Recently, during my readings, I came across the idea that society and culture are interwoven with an individual's sexuality. Unfortunately, many Indians, including myself, do not possess an adequate understanding of our religion and culture to make such assertions. For instance, how many of us are familiar with the various schools of Hindu philosophy, or what constitutes Hinduism or who is considered a Hindu?

On the other hand, there are a plethora of scholarly works produced by members of the gay community, including Giti Thadani, Ruth Vanitha, Saleem Kidwai, and Ashok Row Kavi, which aim to counter the argument that Indian culture is incompatible with homosexuality. Additionally, it is a challenging task to cite examples from Indian mythology, literature, and history to support the notion that Indian culture is accepting of homosexuality. Nevertheless, India's past is considerably richer than Western traditions of homosexuality.

It is worth reiterating that Hindu traditions perceive the atman or soul as free from the typical dichotomies of biological sex and gender. As God is neither a 'he' nor a 'she,' being beyond concepts, so is the atman. The dualities of gender roles are man-made, and the sense of self or ego is the only obstacle between a person and God.

“My question in midst of all this chaos is, “Can gender not exist beyond the binary” who will answer this for me, will I ever know?”

The term 'Choice' holds various connotations. As per the dictionary, it signifies the right, ability, or opportunity to make a selection. Alternatively, some individuals describe 'Choice' as an opportunity filled with freedom, without any burdensome or obligatory undertones, that is well thought-out and based on consideration. This definition of 'Choice' is more empowering, as it represents a powerful tool that opens up numerous possibilities, rather than just being an extension or inversion of the context. Despite being unaware, we consistently operate under a fundamental set of assumptions, which are default and unchallenged. These assumptions create the context in which we operate and determine our worldview. They dictate what is possible or impossible, true or false, right or wrong, and what we perceive we can or cannot do.

While watching the film "All about my mother" by Pedro Almodovar, which showcased complex relationships, including lesbian and transvestite love, the characters of Lola (previously Estevan) and Agrado intrigued the viewer. Despite both characters playing transvestites, gender play was still present between them. Agrado was seen as the woman, while Lola was perceived as the man, possibly because he was the father of two children. Even as a transvestite, it was challenging to envision Lola as the "third gender," as our society does. To me, he was still the father and head of the family, and amidst the complexities, there was still a sense of regular family. Society's religious teachings emphasize the normativity of our existence, and anything outside of that is considered abnormal, unnatural, or weird.

Rituparno Ghosh, an openly queer filmmaker acclaimed globally for his work, including sensitive portrayals of human relationships, directed films like "Memories in March" and "Arekti premer golpo." These films do not evoke any cringe or anger as a gay man. There are no mixed messages about being queer or resorting to effeminacy or out-of-control gay sex drives to elicit laughter. There is no lamenting the 'misfortune' of being queer. After watching both films, the distinction between 'us' and 'them' remains unclear. "Arekti premer golpo" is a complex film with gay love, bisexual love, and straight people reacting to it. However, it was based on the life of "Chappal bhaduri," an old Jatra artist who played female characters until women were allowed to do stage performances. Playing a woman consistently made him feminine, and he had love affairs with various men. It was disturbing to think about the kind of love he sought throughout his lifetime. In the film, a line asks, "Don't you feel that god mistakenly put you into a man's body?" and the reply goes, "No, never, because I know that god created Man, Woman, and Us." The challenging part here is that on one hand, it seems as though the character is trying to fit into society as either gender, while on the other hand, he identifies as a third gender.

It has been observed during a discussion with a friend that individuals studying in an art college are seemingly less affected by the term 'gay' or 'lesbian' in comparison to those studying in regular colleges. The notion exists in the society that individuals pursuing a career in design are assumed to be gay, and this thought has been internalized by some. Both religion and sexuality are sensitive topics, and it is worth considering which of these is more intolerant. It is possible that both are on an equilibrium, or it may be that individuals have lost the ability to judge which is more hurtful. Our culture and society have traditionally taught individuals not to 'talk back,' and people have followed this for centuries. Religion and sexuality are at the black and white ends of the scale, and society is the grey area that encompasses both but has no distinct characteristics of its own.

In the past, when gays were flamboyant and visible in drag or leather outfits, it amused people. Straight families would attend the gay Halloween parade and find it funny. However, when two middle-aged lawyers who are married to each other move in next door and adopt a Korean girl, want to send her to school with your children, and socialize with you, it may creep people out, especially Christians. Therefore, gay marriage may be considered a radical issue rather than a conservative one.

It is essential to understand that homosexuality is not a choice. Society often forces individuals to think that it is a choice, but it is one's nature. The choice lies in whether one expresses their sexuality truthfully or spends their life lying about it. It is critical to comprehend the links between gender and sexuality in the minds of those who want masculinity to be separate from femininity and heterosexuality to be separate from homosexuality to understand transphobia and homophobia better.

In conclusion, people tend to feel threatened by homosexuality. However, the issue lies with society's attitude towards gay people rather than with gay people themselves. Homosexuals are sons and daughters, politicians, and doctors, just like any other regular person.